“Afraid” is a country with no exit visa-Audre Lorde

May 23, 2010 @ 1:56 pm | By TheFeministGriote | 4 Comments

It appears that white America is obsessed with Black women. There is so much negative statistics about our HIV infection rates, herpes rates, and now the final frontier is our marriageability rate. White mainstream media seems to be focused on the dire estate of affairs when it comes to why Black women do not marry?

I do realize that their is a serious problem within the Black community around the issue of dating, but why are we only focusing on the negative? I refuse to believe that every educated beautiful Black woman is pinning away depressed waiting on Mr. Right! Why does the media and the Black community assume that every woman’s ultimate goal is to be married and have children?Yes, there are many women who desire to play this role but once again we cannot assume that this is the goal of every Black woman.

What about the bevy of women who are happy and fulfilled in their singleness? We need to change the collective narrative among Black women. More emphasis needs to be placed on what we are doing with our lives and what we do have, rather than what we do not have. We are treating this issue as if it is a threat to national security. Dating in the 21st century comes with major challenges, but you can’t miss out on life trying to become a Mrs. I applaud any woman who refuses to settle for any type of man  but  do not allow friends, family, and now White America make you feel as if being single is a terminal disease.

Relationships take work lots of it! There are many of us who find ourself far more productive in our singleness, than we would be if we were attached. I understand that there is an expiration date on your ability to procreate, but if you really want to have a child and can afford to have children on your own, then do not allow the absence of a steady man deter you from accomplishing your desire of becoming a mother. Its not 1945! No one wants to grow alone but you do not want to be so thirsty for a man in your life that it dominates and dictates every aspect of your life. Be content with yourself and welcome new experiences and what will be will BE

4 Responses to “ “Afraid” is a country with no exit visa-Audre Lorde ”

  1. Haha am I literally the first comment to your awesome writing?

  2. Lol no. I had a technical accident last week that wiped my posts/comments. Thank you for commenting & thinking its awesome!

  3. If only more people would read this!

  4. Really great writing! Honestly..

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