May 23, 2010 @ 1:52 pm | By TheFeministGriote | 6 Comments
At the end of one my favorite show “RuPual’s Dragrace” which is aired on the Logo channel, Ru always ends the show with these famous words “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else”. Many women are under the delusion that if I am keeping up with my hair and nails, I get my hair done regularly, and I tear down the mall on pay day that they are loving themselves. I hate to the bearer of bad news but all these superficial cosmetic maintenances are doing nothing for your overall spirit and well being.
Black women especially us single Black women tend to self medicate by shopping. Like Kanye said, “single black female addicted to retail”. The void that we are suffering from can not be fixed with sales or labels. Most women do desire to be married and to have children, but if you never deal with yourself, your demons, and your angst-what type of marriage do you think you will have? Contrary, to popular belief relationships do not absolve and eradicate every wrong that ever happened to you. The job of saving and loving yourself lies squarely on your shoulders. This is not a disney movie this is reality.
Men, clothes, and money cannot fill your void. This void is your soul’s way of saying that you need to feed it with the things that matter. That may mean reading, furthering your education, working out, volunteering, and most importantly spending time with yourself. If all of your joy and happiness is inextricably tied to a person or relationship, then you are setting yourself up for emotional ruin. Till you connect with yourself and truly become familiar with your own agency and inner voice, you will forever suffer from a void.
Categories: The Temple of My Familiar