May 02, 2011 @ 9:30 am | By TheFeministGriote | 3 Comments
Few months back my commitment to sisterhood was tested. I was asked by a very close friend of mine to accompany her to the free clinic so she could take an HIV test, because she had engaged in unprotected sex with her then boyfriend. It was a very emotional time for us both. I remembered my close call. I remembered how alone I felt when the enormity and severity of my actions had settled in. Grant it I was barely 20 at the time, but that was no excuse for not thinking. Since my close encounter I, like my friend have vowed to myself and to the higher power that I would value myself more and practice safe sex every time. That story leads me to the article I read online recently. Hip-hop’s favorite bastard child producer Will.I.Am gave an interview to Elle.com. During the interview Will.I.Am was asked by Elle a pretty normal question that gave the reader mainly women deep insights into the type of primitive knuckle dragging philosophy that Will.I.Am subscribes to.
ELLE: If you walked into a woman’s house, what one item would convince you that you weren’t compatible?”
W: If she had condoms in her house, that would just fuckin’ throw me off. That’s just tacky.
Tacky really?! Blacks makeup 12% of the U.S. population yet we account for 46% infected with HIV, but Will.I.Am finds it “tacky” if I as a Black woman keep condoms in my house. As women waiting for our men to do the right thing, keep it 100, or bring their own condoms is the very thing that has us at 46% infection rate.
As a modern woman I don’t feel “a certain type of way” when men carry condoms on their person, car, or have them readily accessible in their house. I don’t find that tacky, I view that as smart. The time to make adult rational decisions is not when you are butt-naked and panting. That would not be the ideal time to run to the local CVS, Walgreens, or WalMart for some condoms. The truth is that for some folk if condom(s) are not already present and in reach many will succumb and be swept up by the wave of the moment!
I also believe that protection should be a shared responsibility. Men shouldn’t be the only ones allowed or expected to carry condoms. Women should also take the initiative to carry protection as well. That way no one person is the gatekeeper of sex. Personally, if I can’t jive with a man’s politics I can’t vibe with him sexually EVER! Women should not be judged by men or other women for being smart and sexually prepared.
It’s our body and we must advocate for it and we should never allow a man to talk us out of our own agency. It’s funny that Will.I.Am sees no problem in performing in black face in 2011 and more importantly he doesn’t see the gravity in saying “I stay niggerrific” in his most recent collaboration with Nicki Minaj. This same man thinks its okay to throw us modern thinking women under the bus for being sexually responsible. I have two words for Will.I.Am and his judgmental backwards thinking NEGRO PLEASE!
Speak your piece…
Categories: Venus vs Mars