Jun 09, 2010 @ 11:44 am | By TheFeministGriote | 10 Comments
“Most single Black women feel like they don’t want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We’re important. It’s hard to find us so Black women have to bow down”-Slim Thug
On 6/7/2010 Slim Thug gave an interview on Vibe.com and the above quote was extrapolated from that interview. It seems like the whole entire world has a personal beef with single Black women. Steve Harvey who is on his third marriage wrote an elementary school book to teach me how to get a man, every time major networks need to fill their time slots they have a segment on Black women so they can further highlight how most of us are unmarried and pinning away, we have to deal with our music which degrades us which tells us to open our legs yet condemns us for the very act, and NOW the rapper Slim Thug has dubbed himself the hip-hop Bill Cosby and now, he as well wants to tell me what my problem is and WHY I AM SINGLE?
News flash America, White America, Black America & anyone else who wants to listen, I am single because I sincerely want to BE. I did not feel less than or as if I am lacking. Grant it I am an educated Black woman and I do understand that the higher I go in education and in socioeconomic status that it may lessen my dating pool, but it surely does not make dating obsolete. Now, I refuse to believe that their are barely any successful Black men. I know for a fact that is a farce. There are plenty successful Black man. They’re all not wall street execs, record producers or rappers, and no they’re not all in White House, but there is plenty of successful Black men in various arenas of life. I know that this is America and that we are entitled to our opinions, but can it at least be rooted in some intelligence and not in ridiculous generalizations. The whole article was completely ludicrous and actually comical. Who appointed Slim Thug the blind prophet who is suppose to lead Black women out the dessert of singleness?
Slim Thug states in the article that our “standards are too high”. I believe that as Black women our standards are far too low. We will have numerous kids with a Black man with no signs of marriage and take him back every time he publicly cheats on us, case in point Kim Porter P. Diddy’s “baby-mother”. So, because there is a “shortage” on successful Black men I should accept any and everything? Why is it that when white women have standards and expect respect they’re called progressive or called feminist, but when Black women adopt standards were are accused of being “uppity” and acting as if we are better than our Black men? When did Black love become a UFC fight? I am here to enhance the life of any man whose life I enter not to become his domestic slave.
I agree with Slim Thug that Black women should not be looking for a hand out or a”Captain save-a-hoe”! I completely agree with this sentiment, but if I am dating a man I think its only fair and reasonable that within our dating and courtship that he shows his interest in me in a tangible way. Whether it be with flowers, dinner, or a gift. It does not have to be with a Louis Vuitton handbag, but there should be an outward manifestation of how my man feels about me. Black women deserve nice things and we should not all be labeled as gold diggers for wanting to look good the same way that our white counterparts insist upon being in the latest designer frocks. All the characters in the SATC show all had a deep affinity for designer brands, but I do not see the public outrage against Carrie having a closet full of Manolo Blahnik’s, but I suppose because she is white we expect white women to be in designer name brands, but if a Black woman insists upon wearing Christian Louboutin’s then I have to be a certified gold digger.
What angered me the most about the whole entire article and what I found to be completely absurd is when Slim Thug states: “Black women need to stand by their man more”. This quote is LAUGH OUT LOUD hilarious. Black women have been the foundation, backbones, and perpetual help mate to the Black man. Black women have been supporting Black men since the dawn of time. When Black people were forced to make the sojourn from Africa to America who was it that aided Black men? When the Black man were being emasculated by slavery it was the Black woman who loved and nursed him back to his rightful place as a man. When Black men were being lynched for sport it was the Black woman who stepped up and raised the kids. When the Black Liberation Movement was on the way it was Black women who joined and helped galvanized the community register men and women to vote. We were there in the trenches helping with the Black struggle. Where would Dr. King be without Coretta forgiving him of his extra marital indiscretions and raising the family while he was sharing his dream with the world? Betty Shabazz was very integral in the life of Brother Malcolm, so please Slim Thug don’t tell me me that I need to stick by my man. Before the term “ride or die” was even coined Black women have been playing their part and standing by their man. I think it’s time that the world starts to respect Black women and our contributions to society. Not all single Black women are pathetic and desperate. If Black men think that dating white women is the key because we Black women are too bossy, demanding, and we all have a shovel in our shoe then who cares. I am not competing with any woman for a man white or Black! I can’t speak for white women, but I am quite certain that they can’t collectively be in agreement with how they are being characterized as, “weak, overly submissive, mute objects” whose sole purpose in life is to please her master/boyfriend/husband. That sounds like a concubine not an equal. This is a state of emergency what I read in that article was a man professing and projecting his self hatred, ignorance, and disdain for his culture and the women who keep that culture alive and thriving. Being single is not a disease and I don’t need anyone recommending to me the antidote to cure me of my singleness.
“To grow up metabolizing hatred like daily bread means that eventually every human interaction becomes tainted with the negative passion and intensity of its by-products-anger and cruelty” -Audre Lorde from the essay “Eye to Eye”
Categories: Venus vs Mars