Sep 18, 2013 @ 5:24 pm | By TheFeministGriote | 1 Comment
I just became the happiest man alive!! My beautiful Queen and I are having a baby!!
— Kevin Antoine Dodson (@antoinedodson24) September 18, 2013
One of our favorite internet sensations Antoine Dodson who became famous for protecting his sister from a near sexual assault, has announced that he is expecting a baby. Gay people have kids and have been having kids since forever which isn’t a big deal, but what makes Dodson’s admission shocking is that he is expecting this child with a cis-gendered woman. Back in May of this year Antoine Dodson made a controversial announcement via his FB page
I have to renounce myself, I’m no longer into homosexuality I want a wife and family, I want to multiply and raise and love my family that I create. I could care less about the fame and fortune, I’ve giving all that up to know the true history of the bible. For I am the True Chosen Hebrew Israelite descendant of Judah. And as True Israel I know that there are certain things we just can’t do. And I totally understand that now. I don’t need a Mercedes Benz, I don’t need a big house in Beverly Hills all I need is the Most High and my family (Israel). I have been awaken by the great and so should you. Let’s be delivered from the wickedness of the world and live the way we should. The Most High bless all and have a beautiful evening. Israel wake up and take full power of who you are. I’m ready are you?
Antoine Dodson also spoke in-depth about his decision to embrace heterosexuality here. Both Antoine’s tweet and FB admission garnered lots of negative comments from homophobes, liberals, and LGBTQ allies who felt that their indignation of Antoine was righteous. Antoine Dodson divorcing himself from his gayness and embracing heterosexuality brings up many issues that need to be unpacked. To begin with, I am a firm believer in people owning the rights, terms, and conditions of their own narratives. When it comes to people and their sexual orientation, gender identification, and gender presentation, I believe in the individuals right to self identify as they wish and in their right to lead the discussion on their own narrative. Now as a person who has an MSW, I don’t believe in reparative therapy or conversion therapy aka “praying the gay way.” With that said, there are somethings that Antoine Dodson is saying in reference to his same-sex loving past that I find problematic. Dodson’s use of the word “wickedness” gives me alarm and the fact that he has embraced an oppressive God concept that he feels requires compulsory heterosexuality from him. However, I am not Antoine Dodson’s therapists, but I think there is much that we can and should learn collectively from this situation.
I truly believe that gender, gender expression, and sexuality is fluid. Therefore, if we truly believe that gender, gender expression, and sexuality is fluid why do we become so critical and hateful towards those who embrace the fluidity of their varying identities? One of the ‘q’s’ in LGBTQQ does stand for questioning, which is a valid epoch in ones sexual journey. Because people who identify as queer or gay have been reared in a heterosupremacist society many of them have had heterosexual couplings, which doesn’t minimize who they are as gay or queer folk. We live in a society that makes it compulsory that people act on their sexuality and identify as either gay or straight. The only people allowed to be bisexuals are women, and those women must fit a narrow perception of beauty in order to be deemed acceptable bisexuals. Therefore, men especially Black men, are never allowed to identify as bisexual. We never give space to the fact some people may in fact be asexual, demisexual, pansexual, or pomosexual.
Antoine Dodson is juggling a myriad of intersecting identities. He is juggling his male identity, Black identity, sexual identity, and his identity as a person of faith. All of which he is having to do so against the backdrop of a hetero/white supremacist society, that confers humanity only to whites. Instead of policing Antoine Dodson, we as members of society need to examine the ways in which we create unsafe spaces for people to speak their truth and embrace their fluidity. Heterosexuality is worshipped, especially heterosexuality that is state sanctioned i.e. marriage. We reward married people especially those who procreate and we give married people who’ve procreated tax shelters. We also reward married people socially by not passing judgment on their relationship and family structure. In a society that privileges compulsory heterosexuality, internalized homophobia shouldn’t alarm us, we should expect it and have a contingency plan to help those battling it.
I am not fan of self-hatred and people suppressing their true self, but I refuse to ignore the fact that Antoine Dodson was reared in a society that taught him to that be gay is to be sick, perverted, or “wicked.” Our critique and ire should be reserved for the systems at play that makes Antoine and other gay people feel defective and less than.
Categories: Mind Over Chatter