Jan 09, 2012 @ 10:26 am | By TheFeministGriote | 5 Comments
On the song the “Ex-Factor” Lauryn Hill asked this simple yet profound question, “who do I have to be to get some reciprocity?” Any person who has ever been in an unrequited love affair, has pondered and maybe even asked some variation of this question aloud. In our society it’s often expected that we remain faithful and loyal to things/people/places/thoughts even when they’ve ceased to fit our current state of self. Loyalty appears to be more romanticized and courted than love. Our music, movies, and our current political climate all want to keep us loyal even to our own detriment. Urban gangster films and mob films both have the same two loyal stock characters in them, the faithful friend who takes the fall for everyone and of course the glorified “ride or die” chick.
Loyalty in any relationship is not bad, but blind unquestioning loyalty is both foolish and dangerous. Women are socialized to hold their man and the home front down even when she is neglected, mistreated, and abused. It’s not that the men we love do not know what loyalty is, they’re socialized in the same society. The difference is that some men are socialized to be loyal to everyone and everything else except the woman they claim to romantically love. These men are loyal to their block, vices, colors, their talent, or their homies. Some men are willing to die for their homies do life standing on their head for their homies, but for their women honesty, monogamy, and a consistent presence proves to be too arduous a task. It is so homoerotic and ironically poetic the way some heterosexual men view their relationship with their boys, but have nothing other than disdain for every woman other than their mother.
By now the world knows that Vanessa and Kobe Bryant are getting a divorce, we also know that they did not have a prenuptial agreement. Quite frankly who cares. Celebrities, like us regular folk, break up all the time and like us regular folks divorce. I don’t recall Kobe being declared incompetent and unable to make adult decisions. Which means that if he was old enough to be drafted into the NBA and make millions before age 21, then clearly he was old enough to bet against his interest and marry without a prenuptial agreement.What has me upset is a recent video that I viewed this weekend by Drake, Rick Ross, and French Montana the video is for the song, “Stay schemin,” in it Drake who has all of a sudden become thugnificent is throwing Vanessa Bryant under the bus. In the song Drake says,
“Kobe bout to lose 150 M’s. Kobe my n*gga. I hate it had to be him. B*tch, you wasn’t wit me shootin in the gym.”
The only factual and sensical comment in that line/song is that true indeed Vanessa was not in the gym when Kobe was practicing for the bevy of championship rings that he currently has. But when Kobe was on trial for his life facing rape charges, Vanessa was sitting next to him during that painfully awkward press conference. Not his teammates, not his mother and father, not his boys, but his wife, the woman who he cheated on that sordid night in Denver. Vanessa was the one at his side holding his hand walking through Dante’s inferno with Kobe. Vanessa was also the only person who stood with Kobe after all hope appeared to be lost. Only Kobe and that woman will ever know if that sex was consensual or not!
Everybody, meaning mainly men, are so quick now to call Vanessa a gold-digger. 10 years of marriage, two children later, and rape accusation weathered is not the resume of a gold-digger, sounds more like a partner.Vanessa Bryant has proven her loyalty and does not need the likes of Drake calling her a bitch and dragging her name and character through the mud. Why is the Drake so worried about Kobe’s pockets? If anything, I think Drake should be more concerned with the financial solvency of YMCMB and it’s owners. According to reports Kobe has never left his cheating ways, but Vanessa is expected to be loyal to the bitter end? What about Kobe doesn’t he owe his wife some loyalty after all he is the one who married her? Why does Kobe’s pockets deserve sympathy and respect, but not Vanessa? Surely the woman who birthed his kids and stood behind him as he rebuilt his career deserves our sympathy, if not our sympathy, at the very least our respect!
What do you think? Discuss…
Categories: Venus vs Mars