Yes, I am a Feminist and no I don’t hate Men!

Aug 16, 2010 @ 7:28 am | By TheFeministGriote | 4 Comments

What is a feminist? I have had countless conversations with men and women who I have had the pleasure of  reeducating them on what feminism actually is. Both genders seem to believe that in order to be a feminist one must be anti-man and preferably lesbian. If you do your research at one point there were several women who subscribed to the thought that only lesbians could be true feminists because they did not interact with men on an emotional and physical level. That is an extreme ridiculous notion that I do not subscribe believe in.

The best definition of feminism that I agree with and pledge allegiance to is the definition that bell hooks proposes in her book called Feminist Theory from margin to center in the book bell hooks offers this definition: “Feminism is the struggle  to end sexist oppression. Its aim is not to benefit solely any specific group of women, any particular race or class of women. It does not privilege women over men.” There is no rule that states that in order for me to be pro-woman that I must inherently be anti-male. I believe the sexes are equal and both men and women must work together in order to abolish sexism. Men are not more superior than women and women are not smarter or better than men. I truly believe that both sexes can co-exist with one another in a non-competing way. Patriarchy has brain-washed men and women into thinking that we must be in constant competition to dominate one another. That is not a feminist ideal that is a patriarchal ideology.

Being a young, Black, female feminist who is very much part of the hip-hop nation is very hard. Every day, I must walk a very well orchestrated tightrope. I love hip-hop, but I struggle to find artist both male and female artist who uplift me and respect my mind. When it comes to dating I expect a guy to call me and ask me out. It is not in my nature to pursue a man. More power to the women who exercises that prerogative, but that is not me. I still expect men to hold doors for women, give up their seat on the bus for a woman, or hold the elevator door if you see me coming. Politically and socially I align myself with feminism, but that doesn’t mean that I do not want to be treated like a woman nor am I ready to see chivalry ride off into the sunset never to be seen again. I know this may startle and even confuse some of you, but that is life. As human beings we are a series of contradictions. The key to life is balancing these contradictions and finding the center of your own truth that reigns supreme in your core. “The personal is political” everyday I consciously marry my political feminist ideals with my personal mores and standards. It is not easy, but I am fully committed to the task. I am proud of being a feminist and wished more men and women adopted the lifestyle.

Categories: Venus vs Mars

4 Responses to “ Yes, I am a Feminist and no I don’t hate Men! ”

  1. I understand and respect what you’re saying, your contradictions are forgiveable; minus one. I don’t agree with the idea of a feminist waiting for a man to call her for a date. I believe anyone; man or woman, who waits for someone they’re interested in to call them, is giving them the power. If in your heart of hearts you truly like someone, then by all means go for it, because if you wait, someone else might just snatch up something that was meant for you. So for a feminist to give a man power over a situation that can affect her life, thats just too much of a contradiction for me.
    In an un-sexist world we all are equal, I can get behind average displays of chilvary, but I can’t agree with giving someone else power over my life, especially in the terms of love and happiness. However this was an excellent post, that included great insight on the ideology that titles are flimsy, and nothing or no one should catergorized. Great Job Lu.

  2. I am not waiting on a man nor am I giving him power, but i refuse to dedicate my life to chasing a man and making him want me. I hear what you are saying, but I guess that is my old-fashion west-Indian up bringing. I hate dating so it works great for me. I am worth the chase! My politics are growing/evolving every day so maybe my philosophy may change.

  3. I agree with the feminist movement and educating our peers of not only with the politically correct definition but as it applies to society. I have been in a class where the male teacher felt that it was ok to talk any kind of way to the females in the class, by simply stating that thats the way he talks to his wife. Many females and well as males feel that the amount of education one has, give them the authority to speak any kind of way to a person that isn’t at the same education level as them.But also you forgot to state about feminism in the work place in that males tend to get higher pay than women. Just like u said to me earlier, when one knows better they do better.

  4. Yes!!! I love your definition and I think labels (which show what you believe in) are very important. It tells the world what we are willing to stand up for.

    I don’t think you are being contradictory at all. Like you said, we need to find the right balance. A man opening a door for me or pulling out the chair for me does not bother me. Yes we can do it for ourselves but when a man does this, he is showing respect for all women.

    When it comes to dating, we need to be careful that we don’t end up doing all the work. I can be a feminist and let the guy do the chasing. Why not? We are worth it. Plus there’s no rush, if a guy really likes you, he won’t be going anywhere. Really, if you look at it like that, we have all the power.

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